Welcome to the Decapitation Corporation,
My name is Stumpy Stumpface.
If you're here to address your head situation,
You've come to the right place!
We offer trims and cuts and shaves,
All at a premium price!
Just think of all the hats you'll save
And you'll never again get lice.
I know, I know, you're quite attached
To that loopy little melon,
But once your brain becomes detached
You'll forget you ever had one!
It's a very simple procedure, you see,
We won't start until you're ready.
Just lie right here in the guillotine,
Doesn't that feel better already?