How to fool dogs

A lot of people say that dogs can somehow tell if you're a bad person. This obviously poses a problem for you. Luckily, a dog is a very stupid creature that is easily fooled. Here are two techniques you might try:

  1. Soaking your clothing in chicken juice.
  2. Realizing that everything in the universe is actually just an expression of you and you of it and that the dog, in fact, knows this.

These are more or less equally effective.

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