Introduction to Alchemy

There are prophets and mystics and oracles and sages and medicine men. There are liars and deceivers and sinners and feeders and pushers. There's everything in between, with significant overlap. Ultimately, none of these are relatable. What you should be is an alchemist. Here is your charge in the simplest possible terms: fashion joy from sorrow, love from fear, make gold out of lead.

It feeds itself. Do you understand? It's eating itself. To eat is to be eaten, to be eaten is to eat. People hurt you because you hurt them and you hurt them because they hurt you. That's because you are them and they are you. You're stuck in this cycle. SO QUIT HITTING YOURSELF. Break the chain. Nobody else can. God damn it dude! You think I want to be here explaining this to you? Stop being so stubborn. You want revenge? You are revenge. Congratulations. Time to be something better.

Look around you. You like what you see? Then stop feeding it. Stop eating it. I'm just talking to myself here, you understand? I'm a junkie, you see, addicted to heroin, cigarettes, cocaine, alcohol, meth, weed, sex, food, video games, attention, power, irony and gecko tails. For some reason I can't stop collecting gecko tails. There's just something sweet about them. I have a whole room of gecko tails in various stages of decay. It's beautiful! I rent a two bedroom apartment just to have space for my gecko tails. You won't understand. Nobody ever understands.


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